We’re now firmly entrenched in the “find out” phase of fuck around and find out. Donald Trump, known aliases Donnie Smallhands, Captain CapsLock, Orange Julius, Donald Diapers, was booked at the Fulton County Jail yesterday, along with his co-conspirators.
Yeah, call me petty for being disappointed by this, but Trump was permitted to self-report his height and weight for his record. His claims: 6′ 3″, 215 lbs., strawberry blonde hair.
Now, it’s long been rumored that Donald wears lifts, some suspect they’re quite tall. Why am I musing about rumors? Because this is Trump, a man who quite clearly bathes in bronzer (there was once a report of the specific shade), rails at the media for posting pictures of him with a double chin, rails against the lighting for making him appear orange, and who has the most complicated combover I’ve ever seen. The man is vain. And he has just the kind of vanity to wear lifts in public.
Exhibit A: Here’s Trump standing next to 6’2″ tall Justin Trudeau. Lifts or not, Trump appears several inches shorter.
Exhibit B: And here’s Mac Jones, quarterback of the New England Patriots, who is actually 6’3″ and 215 lbs. With actual blonde hair.
Vegas oddsmakers had the over/under betting prop for Trump’s weight at 278.5 lbs. That’s a fairly safe assumption for Trump’s actual weight.
I’m not fat-shaming the man, I’m lie-shaming him.
